Photograph of a Love Song
by remuslives23
Summary: Sirius Black has always wondered it 'the one' truly exists. He finds the answer where he least expected it.


_Cover art by **cmajalis** and drawn for the shaggydog_swap at livejournal._

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**Title:** Photograph of a Love Song  
**Username:** **remuslives23**  
**Art:** The Jazz Night  
**Word Count:** 12640  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Contains:** Sexual situations, language.  
**Summary:** Sirius Black has always wondered it 'the one' truly exists. He finds the answer where he least expected it.  
**Notes/comments:** **cmajalis**, I loved your art the moment I saw it and was so chuffed when I was assigned to it. I hope this lives up to the beautiful scene you provided. Thank you to **dogsunderfoot **for beta reading and giving me the boost I needed to feel more confident about the finished product, and thanks to my fellow mods for running this wonderful fest!

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Sirius glanced at his watch as he stifled a yawn. God, this was worse than the time he sat behind a bush for seven hours waiting for a pair of rhinos to mate so he could catch it on film for _Wildlife _magazine. He caught Lily Potter giving him a disapproving look and gave her a wide smile in return. Her frown deepened, and Sirius sighed heavily.

'Look, I'm here, aren't I?' he moaned, reaching for his glass of whiskey. 'I only promised you my glorious presence, Lils. I didn't say anything about enjoying it.'

'Like you had anywhere else to be tonight,' Lily snapped, drumming her fingers on the table.

'Actually, there was a lovely brunette behind the bar at the club last weekend, and I was hoping to close the deal before I leave for Australia next week,' Sirius retorted, smirking smugly when, predictably, Lily's eyes narrowed and her lips tightened in disapproval.

'Then she owes me one for saving her from your dubious charms,' she snarked, crossing her arms over her chest. 'One night off from shagging random strangers won't hurt your reputation. It might even drag it out of the gutter.'

'Lily…' James said warningly, and she bit her lip.

Sirius finished his drink then caught the waiter's attention, indicating he'd like another. Lily-baiting was his favourite game, but it was thirsty work.

He usually got along quite well with his best friends' wife with the exception of one subject – Sirius' sex life or, as Lily referred to it, "Sirius' Pervy Mission to Debauch Every Man and Woman in London". She took offense to his laissez faire attitude to sex, insisting that his nomadic, indulgent lifestyle couldn't possibly make him happy or fulfil him. Sirius usually would make a joke about being 'filled' at that point which made Lily's ivory complexion turn as red as her hair. Then James would drag her away with a reminder that conversation with Sirius inevitably led to smut and filth and that she should know better by now.

The thing he'd never tell Lily, though, was that she was – at least, in part – correct. At twenty-six, he was growing weary of anonymous encounters and casual flings where he fucked then left, sometimes not even learning his partner's name. He loved his job, but he was getting tired of roaming the planet in search of the next photograph to win him the front cover, he was sick of fucking his way around the world. Sometimes he watched James and Lily with little Harry and wondered what kind of father he'd be, or he'd listen to Peter moan about his fiancee's latest wedding expenditure and see himself in a tux, watching a faceless bride walk down the aisle. But whenever he made the decision to try commitment, to settle down in one place, he broke out in a cold sweat.

Peter said he hadn't found the right person yet.

James said that when he found the one, he'd know.

Lily said that he'd probably scare the right one away with his backlist, but then grudgingly admitted he wasn't that bad of a catch, if he could just keep it in his pants.

Sirius wondered if he'd even know the right one if he managed to stumble across them or if he'd already fucked and discarded them. And he wasn't sure if he'd be terrified or relieved if he had.

But he'd never let Lily know how close to the truth she was. The woman would be absolutely _unbearable_if she knew.

'When is this bloody thing going to start?' he complained, accepting a fresh drink from the waiter and automatically giving him a once over and a flirty smile.

'Thought you weren't interested,' James said, sliding an arm around the back of Lily's chair.

'The sooner it starts, the sooner I can leave to work on that brunette,' Sirius said with a wink.

James snorted and Lily opened her mouth to castigate him, but just then, the lights of the already dimly lit club flickered off and the low murmur of chatter buzzing around them faded away. Sirius glanced towards James and when he saw that the other man's gaze was fixed on his wife, he rolled his eyes.

Tonight had been Lily's idea, but it was James who'd talked Sirius into coming along, his promises of eternal devotion and decades of slavery finally making Sirius cave. Normally, he'd need no such bribes to agree to a night out on the town with James, Lily, and Peter – who was fidgeting in his suit on Sirius' other side - but a 1920's theme night at a jazz club was definitely not on his list of ways he wanted to spend a Saturday night.

He nudged Peter in the side, gesturing to the other man's pack of cigarettes. Peter let out an irritated huff but handed the packet and lighter over with a scowl.

'I'm buying you a box of smokes for your birthday,' he whispered loudly, snatching the silver lighter away from Sirius the moment the end of the cigarette was lit. 'Maybe then you'll stop pinching mine.'

'Wouldn't count on it,' Sirius said blithely, blowing a stream of smoke into Peter's face. 'They taste better from someone else's pack.'

Peter cursed expansively under his breath, impressing an amused Sirius with his wide repertoire. The spotlights over the stage came on with a muted _whump_and James shot them both an annoyed glance. As the low beat of the bass drum began to throb through the room, Sirius raised a finger to his lips to stifle the rest of Peter's insinuations about his parentage. Peter kicked his ankle under the table, turning with a triumphant smile towards the stage as Sirius hissed in pain and Lily threw a warning, 'Shut _up_, you wanker' at him.

With a final dirty look at Peter, Sirius settled back in his chair and put his cigarette to his lips. As his gaze fell upon the sparsely lit stage, a bright spotlight fell upon a lanky figure in the centre, head bowed. The light glinted off the curved bow of a saxophone as the man raised it to his lips.

All the music stopped, the moment of silence hanging in the air until the first clear, smooth note floated out the bell of the sax. Sirius realised he was holding his breath as the slow, smooth chords filled the room. The rest of the band joined in, but Sirius' attention was fixed on the young man playing the saxophone.

His photographer's eye automatically took in the technical aspects of the scene before him, but his libido was completely focused on the musician as he stepped towards the front of the stage and his features came into focus. The dim lights caught the golden highlights in his light-brown hair, and full lips were pursed around the mouthpiece of the instrument in a way Sirius found ridiculously erotic. Sirius exhaled tremulously as he watched the man's long fingers moving dexterously over the keys of the brass instrument, producing music so sexy, so provocative, that Sirius' cock responded like Pavlov's dog. As the man stepped forward into the centre of the spotlight, Sirius saw his eyes were closed as he moved with the music, narrow hips swaying and rocking, and Sirius' mouth went dry at the thought of those same hips grinding against his own.

He wanted to photograph him. He wanted to catch that passion, that raw sensuality, on film. He wanted it in his bed – under him, over him, in him, and around him. Never before had he felt such a jolt of lust as he did looking at this man, desire swamping his senses and leaving him breathless with want. His fingers twitched, longing for a camera to capture what he was seeing.

'Jesus,' he muttered, under his breath, resisting the urge to rub his palm over the erection pushing insistently against his zipper.

'What?' whispered Peter, leaning towards him.

Sirius shook his head. 'Nothing,' he said, eyes fixed on the musician. A smile played about the corners of his lips as he watched the other man.

Perhaps this night wouldn't be as much of a wash out as he thought.

0o0

Remus Lupin smiled at the bartender as he approached. 'Hey, Frank,' he said with a nod.

'Nice set, Remus,' Frank said, already reaching for a glass. 'You want the usual?'

Remus gave him a smile of thanks, forcing a hand into the pocket of his tight jeans for some cash as Frank slid the glass with two fingers of whiskey towards him.

'I'll get it,' came a voice from behind Remus before a hand slapped a twenty pound note on the counter. 'And I'll have the same, thanks.'

Frank shot Remus a quick look then grabbed another tumbler when Remus gave him a shrug. His benefactor slid onto the seat beside him and smiled brightly. Remus blinked as one of the sexiest men he'd ever seen held out his hand.

'Hi,' he said with a grin. 'Sirius Black.'

Remus took the offered hand and shook it, a little dazed by the other man's smile. 'Remus Lupin.' He nodded towards the drinks Frank put down in front of them. 'Thanks for that.'

'No problem,' Sirius said, snatching up his glass immediately. He took a deep drink before swivelling back towards Remus. 'I was in the audience while you were playing. You're... amazing.'

Remus cursed the heat that rushed to his face. He ran a hand through his hair and tried to ignore the way his stomach flipped. 'Um, thank you,' he murmured, exhaling tremulously. He picked up his glass and took a long drink.

'Yeah, I'm not really into jazz, to be honest, but my friend, Lily, dragged me along,' Sirius said. 'She had to go – the babysitter had to leave early – but asked me to tell you she loved the performance.'

'I'm glad she liked it,' Remus said falteringly. 'But you were... dragged along?'

Sirius' eyes widened. 'Oh, I didn't mean...' He smiled apologetically. 'Sorry. Bad turn of phrase. I just haven't listened to much jazz before – I'm more of a Queen man – and wasn't all that enthusiastic about coming along but your performance... ' He shook his head. 'How did you do that? All the jazz I've listened to before just sounded like a jumble of noise but you made it... sound like proper music.'

Remus laughed out loud, ducking his head as his cheeks flushed. 'I'm pleased you thought so,' he said, tucking an errant strand of hair behind his ear. 'I'm always happy to convert someone.'

Remus glanced quickly at the other man, arousal burning through his veins when he saw the blatant admiration in his grey eyes. He picked up his drink, taking a fortifying mouthful just as Sirius said, 'You know, if I'd known all jazz musicians looked like you, I'd have come around a lot sooner.'

Remus choked on his whiskey, nearly spraying the drink all over the bar. He swallowed fast then coughed helplessly as Sirius grinned at him. 'Whoops,' he said without a trace of regret. He handed Remus a paper napkin from the pile on the bar, watching as Remus wiped at a dribble of whiskey running down his chin.

'You're cute when you're embarrassed,' Sirius teased, laying his hand on Remus' wrist. Remus' skin burned at the touch and warmth prickled all the way up his arm, heading for an entirely different part of his body. His breathing hastened, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

Sirius studied him closely then slid his hand down over Remus' as he took the all but empty glass from his fingers. 'Another?' he asked, huskily.

Remus nodded. 'Please,' he replied, voice hitching a little.

Sirius ordered two more drinks then, once they were delivered, turned back to Remus. 'Want to go somewhere more private after these?' he asked, low and deep.

Remus licked his dry lips, almost moaning out loud as Sirius' eyes followed his tongue's path. 'Somewhere like your place?'

Sirius looked up from Remus' mouth, and Remus shivered at the naked desire in his face. 'Yeah,' he breathed softly. 'Somewhere like that.'

Remus swallowed hard then nodded sharply. 'Yeah,' he said quickly. 'Yeah, I want to.'

0o0

The door slammed shut behind them, and Remus' instrument case clattered against the wooden floor as he and Sirius reached for each other, coming together in an almost violent kiss. It wasn't Sirius' usual persuasive first kiss. This was desperate and needy and without any finesse, but as Remus' tongue parried his own, as his teeth scraped over Remus' lip, as their breath came in raspy pants, Sirius couldn't help but think that this was the most perfect kiss he'd ever experienced.

They stumbled over the instrument case as Remus shoved Sirius up against the door, pushing his shirt up to bunch under his arms. Nimble fingers plucked at Sirius' nipples and a startled yelp preceded a long moan as those fingers were quickly replaced by Remus' mouth.

'Oh, God,' he gasped, his back arching off the door as nerve-endings sparked. His fingers scrabbled at the back of Remus' shirt, tugging it up over his head where it got stuck. 'Shit!'

Remus laughed and stepped back, deftly unfastening the top two buttons and pulling his shirt the rest of the way off. Hair mussed, he grinned at Sirius, who made a face at him and tore his own shirt off. Then he hooked his fingers into the waist of Remus' trousers and hauled him in, bare chests pressing together as he caught Remus' lips with his own once again.

By unspoken agreement, their hands went to work, thumbing buttons from their holes and drawing down zippers until they were naked to the knees, bodies sliding sensuously against each other. Sirius' hands skimmed down Remus' back, curving over the swell of Remus' buttocks and urging him closer. His breathing stuttered as their hard cocks, trapped between their bellies, rubbed together.

Remus bit at Sirius' jaw as he canted his hips, one hand clenching on Sirius' hip, the other tangling in his dark locks. Sirius shifted his hips to meet Remus', his knees trembling as he rushed towards climax at dizzying speed.

He moved one hand to the back of Remus' neck, dragging him back in for another kiss – hot and hungry. The hand still on the other man's arse roamed, fingers trailing experimentally between Remus' buttocks. Remus grunted and pushed back on the probing digits before crashing their hips together once again.

Sirius could feel his balls tightening, could feel the tension coiling tighter and tighter in his gut until finally, it snapped, his vision blurring with the force of the orgasm that rushed through him. His hips snapped erratically against Remus' as he cursed incoherently. Remus wasn't far behind him, the hand on Sirius' hip digging in bruisingly as Remus chanted, 'Fuckfuckfuck', come spreading – warm and wet – between their stomachs.

Then Sirius' knees finally gave out, and he fell gracelessly to the floor, taking Remus down with him.

0o0

Remus bent over the sink and splashed cold water on his hot skin, lifting his head as it trickled down his chest. He grimaced at the mess on his abdomen, snatching up a flannel and wetting it thoroughly before applying it to the drying come splattered across his skin.

'Bloody hell,' he muttered, wiping the last of the sticky fluid away then tossing the washer into a nearby clothesbasket. He stared at his reflection in the mirror, warmth blooming in his belly when his gaze fell upon a bright red bite mark on his throat, and shook his head. 'Watch yourself with this one, Lupin.'

This wasn't his first casual interlude; he was familiar with the appeal a musician held, and his sex life had flourished since he'd started playing professionally. He knew how this worked. But this felt different to those other one night stands. This was intense. The electricity arcing between him and Sirius was like a shot of pure adrenaline; it made him feel so vibrant, so alive. He'd never had such instant chemistry with someone before, had never been in a situation that had felt so right before - not since he'd first picked up his father's saxophone and put it to his lips. He couldn't imagine his life without that rush he felt when playing, without being able to lose himself in a sweet, sexy rhythm. And that made Sirius Black a very dangerous man. If he had any sense of self-preservation whatsoever, Remus would walk away right now.

'Hey!' A knock on the door broke Remus out of his introspection, and he turned as the door creaked open. Sirius poked his head inside and gave him an endearingly crooked smile. 'Want a beer?'

_I should go._

_Thanks for the shag but I need to leave._

_Nah, I've got things to get on with._

'Sure,' he said, ignoring the little voice in his head that was screaming at him to Get. Out. Now. Instead, he hitched up his sagging trousers and trailed after Sirius.

0o0

Sirius slid up onto the kitchen table and lifted the bottle of beer to his lips. He watched the undulation of Remus' throat as the other man took a deep pull of his own drink. When he lowered his bottle and saw Sirius staring at him, Remus flushed and smiled self-consciously. Butterflies took flight in Sirius' stomach as he watched the pink tinge spread over Remus' bare chest.

Remus cleared his throat and shuffled his feet, pressing his hips back against the counter. 'So, um, do you think you've uncovered a hitherto unknown love of jazz tonight?'

Sirius chuckled. 'I don't know if I'd go that far, but I really did enjoy it.' He stretched out his legs. 'How long have you been playing?'

'Since I was old enough to hold my father's sax,' Remus told him. 'I think I was four.'

'Have you trained professionally?' Sirius asked.

'No,' Remus said regretfully. 'I... I never had the opportunity.'

Sirius cocked his head. 'Really?' he asked, surprised by the apparent depths of the other man's natural talent. 'I'd have thought you'd have no trouble getting into some kind of school.'

Remus shrugged awkwardly and curled his hands around the bottle. 'I never bothered to try. I couldn't afford to go so there was no point.'

He was obviously uncomfortable discussing his finances so, in an attempt to divert attention away from money, Sirius flashed him a blinding grin. 'Well, missing out didn't seem to do you any harm,' he said admiringly. 'I've heard those schools can stifle your natural creativity, anyway.'

Remus gave him a grateful smile then pushed off the kitchen bench, moving across to where Sirius sat. 'And what about you, Sirius Black?' he asked softly, standing in front of Sirius and gesturing around with his half-empty beer bottle. 'From the looks of this flat, you're obviously not short of a quid. What do you do?'

'I'm a photographer,' Sirius told him, eyes following the light smattering of blonde hair from Remus' chest to below his navel. He smiled and touched the rim of his bottle to Remus' stomach. 'I travel the world, photographing beautiful and terrible things which I then sell for a lot of money.'

He slowly trailed the bottle up over Remus' stomach, his heart rate increasing when he heard Remus' breathing catch.

'Sounds more like an adventure than a job,' Remus said, his voice rough.

Sirius nodded, eyes on the bottle as it reached the centre of Remus' chest. 'It can be,' he murmured, licking his lips as he dragged the bottle over a nipple.

Remus sucked in a sharp breath and the nipple hardened. Sirius glanced up at his face, his cock filling fast when he saw Remus' flushed cheeks, his eyes dark with lust. 'I'd like to photograph you,' he whispered, sliding off the table. There was barely an inch between them now, and Sirius could feel each of Remus' rapid breaths. 'On stage. Or just like this.' The bottle slid across Remus' chest to rub over the other nipple, 'Or completely and utterly naked…'

The bottle was shoved aside and slipped from Sirius' hand, rolling across the table before smashing on the floor. But neither man noticed, too caught up in the fierce liplock Remus had initiated. Sirius held him close as he led the way to his bedroom, knocking over a small table holding a pile of cheesy romance novels and hitting the hall wall before they staggered through the door and tumbled onto the bed.

'Want to fuck you,' Remus rasped, ripping open Sirius' trousers then yanking them down. His cock sprang free of its restraints and Remus ducked his head. Sirius shouted out in startled pleasure as Remus took a considerable portion of his length into his hot mouth, working his tongue over the head and sending jolts of arousal spearing through him. He fisted the sheet beneath him, biting his lower lip as he gave himself over to the wet suction for a minute then he forced himself to push Remus away while he was still capable.

'Drawer,' he said, hoarsely, pointing towards the bedside table then he focused on unzipping Remus' fly.

Remus leaned across him and opened the drawer, returning a second later with the necessary items. He crushed his lips to Sirius' once more then slapped him on the thigh. 'Roll over,' he ordered, stripping his trousers down his legs.

Sirius caught a quick glimpse of Remus' erection, his arse clenching at the thought of being filled by the thick length. 'Hurry,' he muttered, rolling onto his stomach then raising himself to his knees. He reached back and grabbed his buttocks, pulling them apart to give Remus better access. He heard Remus groan then long, slippery fingers were sliding inside him, the slight burn making his cock throb and balls tighten. He canted his hips back, bearing down on the probing digits. 'God, please, Remus!'

The fingers disappeared and Sirius waited impatiently as he listened to the sound of latex being smoothed over hard flesh. Then there was pressure and stretching and _heat_as Remus pushed into him, filling him with one thrust.

'Fuck,' Remus cursed, burying his face in Sirius' shoulder. Sirius rolled his hips back, grinding down on the hard cock impaling him, and Remus moaned.

'I'm close,' he warned, his own body trembling with the effort of holding back. 'I'm not going to last.'

Sirius pushed himself up onto his forearms. 'Neither am I,' he said, shoving a hand beneath himself so he could grasp his cock. 'Just move, dammit.'

Remus hooked an arm around Sirius' chest then sat back, taking Sirius with him. Sirius moaned as Remus' cock sank deeper inside him and let his head fall back against the other man's shoulder as they began to move.

Remus' hand shifted, sliding down to close around the hand on Sirius' cock. Together, they stroked fast and firm as their bodies rocked together. As predicted, they didn't last long, Remus coming first with a powerful shudder then Sirius following almost immediately, groaning gutturally as hot, viscous fluid spilled over their fingers.

Sirius leaned back against Remus as he shook through the aftershocks and the other man's arms wrapped around him, holding him against his chest. Sirius rolled his head to the side, pressing his face into Remus' neck. Something inside him quivered when Remus' lips brushed gently over his shoulder, but he shoved it down, down, down, refusing to think about what the unfamiliar feeling might mean.

0o0

'What exactly do you photograph?' Remus asked sleepily, a few minutes later.

Sirius cracked one eye open and squinted at Remus. 'Wildlife,' he murmured, shifting onto his side so he was facing Remus. 'Scenery.'

'Is that one of yours?' Remus indicated the large sunrise scene over the head of the bed, and Sirius nodded.

'Mm,' he hummed. 'My favourite. I couldn't give it up.' He rubbed his big toe along Remus' calf. 'I was serious about photographing you.'

Remus snorted and pulled his legs up, curling in on himself. 'Am I wildlife or scenery?' he asked with a chuckle.

Sirius grinned. 'Can I say a bit of both?'

Remus smacked him and Sirius caught his hand before he could pull away. 'You've got amazing hands,' he murmured, threading their fingers together. 'Is that a requirement of jazz musicians?'

'Yeah, we all get our hands checked before we're allowed to pick up an instrument.'

Sirius grinned. 'You're sarcastic and snarky,' he noted. 'I like it.'

'And you're far too self-assured,' Remus retorted. 'Good thing I like confident men.'

Sirius bit his lip, and Remus stomach dropped as he realised what he'd said. This wasn't about getting to know each other or even liking each other. This was about sex – pure and simple, but it was in danger of becoming something more complicated if he stayed.

They stared at each other in awkward silence for several moments then Remus said softly, 'I should go.'

He pushed the sheets covering him back and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, cursing himself for forgetting what this was. He felt Sirius move behind him then a hand was pressing against his lower back. 'It's late,' Sirius murmured, resting his chin on Remus' shoulder. 'You've been drinking. You should stay.'

Remus twisted around to look at Sirius' face. 'Are you sure?'

Sirius backed off and gave him a shrug. 'Up to you,' he said carelessly, lying down and tugging the sheet up over himself. 'It's a big bed and I don't mind sharing.'

A quick glance at the clock confirmed it was early morning and Remus knew how hard it would be to get a taxi at this hour so he crawled back into bed, deliberately leaving a respectable distance between him and Sirius. 'Thanks,' he said, giving Sirius a nod.

Sirius smiled then covered a yawn. 'No problem,' he murmured, closing his eyes. 'Just don't snore.'

Remus harrumphed and settled in. His back was to Sirius, but every inch of him was acutely aware of the man beside him. Staying the night with a casual fling wasn't that unusual, he told himself. And it had been Sirius' idea, even if he had been disturbingly pleased to be asked.

He clenched his eyes shut and forced himself to stop thinking about how nice it was to meet someone he connected with, someone he could laugh with, someone his body was so in sync with. He wasn't looking for anything more than a good shag and, he was guessing, neither was Sirius. Anyway, their lives weren't conducive to more, even if they both wanted it. Sirius travelled for his job, and Remus was about to take off on a club tour of the UK. In all likelihood, they'd never see each other again after tonight.

Remus pulled the sheet up to his chin. This had been fun, but fun was all it could ever be.

0o0

Bright sunlight streamed through the gap in the curtains, hitting Sirius directly in the face as he opened his eyes. He grunted and hastily shut his eyes again, turning his face into the pillow. As he gradually awoke, he became aware of a warm body pressing against his, and the previous night's activities came back in a rush.

He stretched gently, his muscles reminding him of what a great time he'd had last night. His contented smile was impossible to hold back. It had been the best sex he'd had in a long time, not to mention Remus was pretty easy to be around.

Turning carefully, he gazed at a still sleeping Remus. He really was a good looking man. Not conventionally attractive like Sirius himself, but he had an interesting face. Struck by a familiar urge, Sirius reached over the side of the bed, fumbling in his camera bag for one of his many cameras.

He slid the lens cover off and put the view finder to his eye, focusing with practiced ease then clicking the button. Pushing himself up onto his knees, he snapped off several shots, losing himself in the light and shadows and structure of Remus' face until he realised that Remus' eyes were no longer closed.

'You know that's actually creepy, right?' Remus mumbled then he buried his face in the pillow. 'Why's it so bloody bright in here?'

'It's not creepy,' Sirius argued, lowering the camera. 'I'm inspired. I have to go wherever inspiration takes me.'

Remus peered up at him through a half-closed eye and Sirius took one last photo. Remus scowled at him, and Sirius laughed as he put the camera on the bedside table.

'Don't tell me you aren't the same with your music,' he said, draping himself over Remus. He propped his head up and gazed down at Remus. 'You must know what it's like to have that compulsion to just play.'

Remus shifted so he was on his back and stared thoughtfully up at Sirius. 'Yeah,' he confessed. 'It's like this… need. I feel restless and jumpy until I get my sax in my hands and get the tune in my head out.'

'Do you write all your own music?' Sirius asked curiously. 'I liked that thing you played last night. That one with the 'dum-dum-dum-dum, dum-dum-dum-dum, dum-dah-dah-dah' bit in it.' He drummed out the rhythm on Remus' chest with a finger and, chuckling, Remus nodded.

'I wrote that one,' he said, stretching his arms above his head. 'Did you really like it?'

'Yeah,' Sirius said, distracted by the soft, pale skin on the underside of Remus' arms. He pushed himself forward and licked a stripe from Remus' armpit to his elbow. 'You should teach it to me.'

'It's not that easy,' said Remus indignantly. 'You can't just pick up an instrument and play.'

'I'm a fast learner,' Sirius murmured, nibbling on Remus' collarbone. He worked his way over to Remus' neck then pressed an open mouthed kiss to his throat. 'I reckon you'd be a good teacher.'

'Show me how to take a decent photo and you've got yourself a deal,' Remus said, sinking his fingers into Sirius' hair. 'But we can do that later, can't we?'

Sirius nuzzled his nose against Remus' then brushed their mouths together lightly. 'Oh, yeah,' he smirked before drawing Remus into a kiss.

0o0

'Do you do this for every one night stand?' Remus asked, watching in amusement as Sirius flipped fried eggs then rushed to save the toast from burning.

'Nope,' said Sirius, tossing the toast onto a plate before heading back to the stove. 'Just the ones who give me fantastic head in the shower first thing in the morning.' He winked at Remus as he plated the food. 'You're the first to taste my fabulous eggs.'

'I'll consider myself honoured, then,' Remus replied, taking a plate of eggs and toast from Sirius. 'Thanks.'

Sirius fixed himself another plate and threw himself into the chair beside Remus. 'I really haven't cooked breakfast for anyone else in a long time,' he said, looking a little bemused. He frowned down at his eggs for a moment then looked up, an unconvincing smile on his face. 'But I am looking forward to those saxophone lessons, so I guess I need to help you keep your strength up.'

'I can go now if you're uncomfortable,' Remus offered, but Sirius shook his head.

'Eat,' he insisted, pointing at Remus' breakfast with his fork. He leered at Remus. 'You're going to need more substantial protein than you had earlier.'

Remus' face turned bright red at the reminder of exactly what they'd been up to that morning and he ducked his head, digging into his food with a fervour that made Sirius chortle. They ate in silence then Sirius shooed Remus through to the living room while he tidied. Remus hesitated in the doorway, watching Sirius scrape plates and run water. He was wearing only boxer briefs which clung temptingly to his pert arse and Remus' mouth went dry watching the muscles ripple under his skin.

He should go. He should take this opportunity to get dressed and sneak out. It wasn't like Sirius would be hurt or turn into a spurned lover that tracked him down to murder him in his sleep. But he wanted that photography lesson, and he wanted to show Sirius how to play the saxophone, and it had been so long since he'd been touched with tenderness, since he'd been wanted in the way Sirius had wanted him last night. He knew he shouldn't want this, not now, not with this man. He was finally getting what he'd worked long and hard for – a career doing the thing he loved the most, and this was the worst possible time for him to get distracted. And Sirius was possibly the worst possible person to get distracted by.

Remus turned and walked into the living room. It was a shame, really. It felt good to be wanted for just being him for a change, instead of who he was going to be.

0o0

'So, there's still a big call for jazz?'

Remus swung his legs up onto the couch, pulling his knees to his chest. 'Yep,' he said, leaning back against the luxurious cushions. 'Particularly in the US.'

'You'll be touring there?' Sirius asked. 'When you've finished the UK tour?'

Remus shrugged modestly. 'I think that's the idea,' he said. 'Our manager seems to think we'd do well there.'

'I'd love to go back to the US,' Sirius said, a reminiscent smile on his lips. 'New York is brilliant. So many clubs, so little time.'

Remus snorted out a laugh. 'I'll be too busy working at those clubs to pay attention,' he told him.

'There's always after,' Sirius reminded him with a wriggle of his eyebrows. 'I seem to recall it wasn't so hard to pick you up after your set.'

'I don't go home with every Tom, Dick, or Sirius that asks,' Remus insisted, throwing a decorative cushion at Sirius' head. 'You caught me at a weak moment.'

'A horny moment,' corrected Sirius who then yelped as another cushion came flying at him.

0o0

'And then you just press the button.'

Remus heard a metallic click as he depressed the button on top of Sirius' camera then he lowered it with a sigh. 'There's so much to consider,' he said, looking down at the innocuous looking item. 'I kind of thought it was all just pointing and clicking.'

'It is unless you want to make a career out of it,' Sirius told him, striking a pose on the couch. 'Take another.' Remus glanced up at him and laughed. Sirius pouted. 'Should I be offended that you're laughing instead of admiring my exquisite form?'

'I'm a multi-tasker,' Remus retorted, putting the camera to his eye. 'I can do both at once.'

Sirius poked his tongue out at him then burst out laughing when Remus snapped a photograph of him. He reached out and grabbed Remus' arm, pulling him down on top of him.

'I can think of other things I'd like you to photograph,' he smirked, wrapping his legs around Remus' hips. 'Gay erotic art fetches quite a tidy sum if you know where to flog it.'

Remus bent down and pressed their lips together then he held the camera up, pointing the lens at the two of them. 'And I bet it's more fun than waiting for an elephant to give birth,' he said, taking a shot of them.

Sirius bit at Remus' jaw. 'Weeeelll,' he said, drawing the word out. 'I think it might be a tie, actually.'

Remus smiled mischievously then rocked his brief clad groin against Sirius', the half-hard cocks pressing together tantalisingly. 'Really?'

Sirius bit his lip, his hands falling to Remus' hips. 'I might be mistaken…' Remus lowered his head and flicked his tongue over Sirius' nipple, his hand sliding beneath Sirius' boxers. 'God, yes, alright. This is much more fun.'

0o0

Remus lazily trailed his fingers up Sirius' spine as he glanced around the room. 'Your favourite colour is green,' he murmured, and he felt Sirius' mouth curl into a smile against his chest.

'Mm hm,' he hummed, shifting to rest his head a little more comfortably on Remus' shoulder. 'What gave me away?'

'The copious amount of green in this room gave me my first clue,' Remus deadpanned, eyes quickly flickering from the lightly tinted green walls to the green and blue curtains, landing on the dark green couch.

'I bet I can guess yours,' Sirius said, and Remus smiled.

'Alright then,' he agreed, combing his fingers through Sirius' slightly sweat-damp curls. 'I'll even let you have three guesses before I declare you a loser.'

'That's good of you,' Sirius chuckled. He inhaled deeply, gliding his fingers in abstract patterns over Remus' still-sticky-from-lube-and-come chest and stomach. 'Let's see: you're passionate and dedicated, you're patient and proud, modest without downplaying your achievements…'

'You got all that from fucking me?'

Sirius pinched his nipple lightly. 'Well, some I got from the way you suck my dick.'

Remus slapped Sirius on the bare arse then let his fingers slip down to trace the crease between his uncovered buttocks. 'What other revelations did you get from my sexual repotoire then?'

'You're enthusiastic, you like giving pleasure almost as much as you like getting it, you still blush like a virgin when I say something dirty, and you have the cutest orgasm face I've ever seen.' Sirius tilted his head back to watch the predicted flush creep across Remus' cheeks. 'Your favourite colour is blue.'

Remus cocked his head. 'That's a pretty obvious guess.'

'No guessing involved,' Sirius bragged. 'You like that blue can represent so many moods depending on the colours you add to it. It's versatile: practical, but can be showy depending on the particular shade.' He paused then added, 'I think you like surprising people. Just when they think they've got you pegged, you show them another side of you they didn't expect.'

Remus was quiet for several moments; so long that Sirius shuffled over onto his stomach to check if he'd fallen asleep. He hadn't. He was staring down at Sirius with wide, astonished eyes.

Sirius raised an eyebrow in inquiry. 'Was I right?'

'Yeah,' Remus said finally. A crease appeared between his eyes. 'Yeah, you were right.'

For the first time, tension that wasn't at all sexual filled the room and Sirius wasn't sure how to break it this time. Thankfully, his body provided the answer, his stomach choosing that moment to growl audibly.

Sirius smiled ruefully and sat up. 'Hungry?' he asked. 'I've got the makings of roast beef sandwiches in the kitchen.'

Remus nodded. 'Yeah, I could eat,' he said, reaching over the edge of the couch and snatching up his underwear. 'I'll give you a hand.'

Sirius stood and found his boxers under the coffee table. He shimmied into them then headed for the kitchen, wondering what the hell he was playing at with Remus Lupin. Anyone else would have been long gone by now, and Sirius would be busy planning his next shag or preparing for his next trip, instead of analysing an almost-stranger.

And the fact he was entirely correct about Remus and his favourite colour made Sirius twitchy, his stomach full of great flapping bats as he wondered what on earth this all meant because, as clever as he was, he wasn't usually this insightful.

A quick glance at Remus told him the other man was equally as discombobulated by Sirius' accurate analysis. If Sirius continued like this, Remus would run a mile without Sirius having to actually encourage him to leave.

Why did that thought make those bats in his stomach go crazy?

Lunch went surprisingly well (the ice breaking after Remus saw a can of tuna in his fridge and related the story of how – in the middle of a shag – he'd discovered he was allergic to seafood) and, by the end of the meal, they were laughing together like old friends. He was more comfortable with Remus than he was with anyone other than James or Peter, and the knowledge alternatively terrified and delighted him.

There was a moment when the last crumb had been eaten and the dishes were soaking in the sink where they looked at each other and honesty prevailed. He could see the confusion in Remus' face, the uncertainty about what was happening, and was sure the other man could read the same vulnerability in his own expression.

Then Remus held out his hand and said, 'My turn to play teacher,' and all their misgivings seemed to melt away the second their fingers touched.

0o0

Remus sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed, gnawing on his bottom lip. 'You don't need to blow really hard or thump down on the keys…'

'Remus, did I lecture you before you held my favourite camera? The one I take absolutely everywhere I go? That I wouldn't give up for any amount of money?'

Remus rolled his eyes. 'No,' he said resignedly. 'Sorry. It's just… special. It was the last saxophone my dad owned before he died.'

Sirius looked up from the instrument. 'How long ago did he pass?'

'Five years,' Remus said softly, staring at the saxophone, a faraway look in his eyes. 'He and Mum were killed in a car accident.'

Sirius reached for Remus' hand. 'I'm sorry,' he said sincerely, squeezing Remus' fingers. 'Do you want to put it away?'

Remus blinked twice then shook his head. 'No,' he said hastily. 'No, I want to teach you to play it.' He returned Sirius' hand to the keys. 'Let me show you the notes you'll need to know.'

After a brief lesson, Remus let Sirius go at it, wincing a couple of times when he hit a particularly sharp note. He noted, though, that Sirius was treating the instrument with reverence, handling it carefully and respectfully. He smiled, drawing his legs up to his chest as he watched Sirius' fingers search for the correct keys.

He'd never told anyone he slept with about his parents. No one had ever gotten close enough for him to share that heartbreak with. Remus hunched his shoulders, wrapping his arms around his legs and pulling them in tight. Sirius had seen things in him that people he'd known for years had never seen. How had he managed that? He was struck with the urge to know more about this man, to see Sirius the way Sirius saw him.

'Why is that camera so special to you?' he asked suddenly, grimacing when the note Sirius was playing ended with a high-pitched squeak.

Sirius gazed at him, his thumb rubbing over the rim of the bell. 'It was my first,' he told Remus. 'It was the first camera I bought for myself after I decided what I wanted to do with my life, it was the camera I took my first professional photograph with, the camera that took the photo that won me my first award.' He smiled a sweet smile that made Remus' heart flutter. 'You never forget your first, right?'

He pursed his lips around the mouthpiece of the saxophone again then pulled back with a frown. 'I've forgotten how it starts.'

Remus chuckled and unfolded his legs, shifting until he was sitting behind Sirius, the other man cradled between his spread thighs. 'Okay,' he said, stretching his arms around Sirius. His fingers covered the other man's and he let his chin rest on Sirius' shoulder as he peered down at their hands. 'Let me guide you at first until you pick up the rhythm then you take over.'

Sirius leaned into his touch, Remus' chest now plastered against his back. As they began to play, Remus' attention wandered from the music to Sirius' scent – a musky citrus that made Remus want to bury his nose in his neck and just let the fragrance permeate every cell and molecule of his body. His body began to react to their proximity, his hardening cock trapped between his stomach and Sirius' hip.

Remus forced his attention back to the saxophone when Sirius' fingers began to move under his. After another minute, Remus let his hands slide off Sirius', coming to rest on the other man's thighs. He skimmed them lightly along the hair-sprinkled thigh until he reached the hem of Sirius' boxer briefs. A note quivered as he felt Sirius' chest hitch on a breath, and his hands stilled. The air began to thicken, Sirius' scent becoming stronger and muskier, his skin warming and flushing. Remus brushed his hand over the front of Sirius' boxers, arousal flooding through him when he felt the erection tenting the fabric.

His fingers skimmed over Sirius' flat stomach, a quiet moan escaping when he felt the ripple of the muscles beneath the skin. When his hands flattened over Sirius' ribs, the music stopped abruptly and Sirius turned, his mouth seeking and finding Remus', covering his lips and groaning, low and hungry, into his mouth.

The kiss was slow but deep, their tongues plundering the depths of each other's mouths, taking the time to learn every spot that made breathing falter and rumbling moans rise. Sirius pulled back for a moment that felt like hours-days-months to carefully move the saxophone out of the way then he was back, straddling Remus' hips and lowering them just as carefully down onto the mattress.

Remus' fingers carded through Sirius' hair as they kissed, his other hand sliding along his stubble-rough jaw. He rolled onto his side, taking Sirius with him. The motion tore their lips apart briefly, but they were soon touching from head to toe once more, drawn back to each other like magnets.

They kissed, losing themselves in soft lips and tender touches as they took the time to explore and map the topography of each other's body. Unrushed, they memorised every spot that garnered a reaction – a hiss, a flutter of eyelashes, a tensing of muscle. They learned the taste and texture of every patch of skin, found the spots where their natural scent was strongest, where they could feel the hastened beat of the other's heart pounding against their lips.

Slick fingers eventually slid inside Remus, hot lips mouthing at the back of his neck as he was swiftly prepared. Laying on his side, he buried his face in the mattress as Sirius slid home, relishing the sensation of the thick cock stretching him open, the warm body flush against his back, and Sirius' arm holding him tight. A hand scrambled along his jaw, turning his face so Sirius could kiss him – messy and wet – as he rocked against him. Sirius hooked his arm under Remus' top leg, hitching it higher and sliding his own leg between Remus' thighs. He sank deeper inside Remus on the next thrust, and sparking pleasure burst bright and hot behind Remus' closed eyelids. He canted his hips back to meet each languorous plunge, moaning softly when Sirius' fingers rolled a peaked nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

'Sirius,' he whispered when it started to be too much, grinding back onto Sirius' cock with growing urgency, his orgasm hanging just out of reach. He needed… something. He needed…

Sirius circled his hips, his hand closing around Remus' cock. 'Come on, sweetheart,' he urged breathlessly, biting down on Remus' earlobe. 'Come on.'

Something broke inside Remus and he cried out as his release crashed over him, bucking mindlessly into Sirius' hand as come fountained from him. Sirius swore and turned Remus' name into a mantra as he lost control, fingers biting bruisingly into Remus' flesh as he came long and hard.

0o0

After they'd cleaned up, they lay in silence - propped up by pillows opposite each other. Legs tangled together, they absently mirrored each other as their fingers delicately traced the fine rise of the metatarsal bones in their feet. Every now and then, one of them would sneak a look at the other, quickly averting their eyes when caught staring.

Sirius wrapped his fingers around Remus' ankle, thumbing the jut of the bone. He wasn't sure what had just happened. No, that was bollocks. He knew damn well what had just happened, he just wasn't sure how to feel about it.

He'd brought Remus home for sex. They'd just made love like they'd been doing it forever.

A breath shuddered from between his lips and he swallowed hard against the familiar panic that arose.

'Are you alright?'

Sirius looked up and nodded. Remus arched an eyebrow. 'Really? It's just, I can't feel my foot anymore…'

Sirius glanced down at his hand and saw his white knuckles. He loosened his hold on Remus' ankle, biting his lip in dismay when he saw the red marks his fingers left behind. 'Sorry,' he murmured, rubbing the marked skin. 'I was miles away.'

'Mm,' hummed Remus. 'I know I've asked before but I feel like I should ask again. Do you want me to leave now?'

Sirius opened his mouth then snapped it shut again. He should say yes. He should say that it was fun but it was over now. Then Remus would be gone, along with this feeling in his chest, this achy kind of pressure that was driving him to distraction.

'No,' he said before he even realised his mouth had opened. 'Stay a little longer.'

Remus eyed him closely, consideringly, then nodded. He dipped his head and pressed a kiss to the top of Sirius' foot then looked up with a slight smirk.

'You have big feet,' he noted, running a finger along Sirius' arch and making him squirm and, to his horror, giggle.

He snatched his foot away, jabbing Remus in the thigh in retribution. 'Sorry, sorry!' Remus said, holding up his hands in supplication. 'I won't do it again. Big Foot.'

Sirius laughed and laid his foot back down in Remus' lap. 'Are you really surprised about my feet?' Sirius leered playfully, glancing pointedly from his feet to his groin. 'You know what they say about what big feet represent, and you've seen the size of that.'

'That's why I'm surprised,' Remus said deadpan then he yelped as an indignant Sirius poked him in the ribs with his toe.

'You're a cruel, cruel man, Remus Lupin,' Sirius sulked, crossing his arms over his chest. 'I'm not accustomed to my lovers denigrating my manhood.'

Remus let out a peal of laughter. 'Your manhood?' He narrowed his eyes then a sly smile formed on his face. 'Those bloody romance novels you were trying to hide away earlier. The ones we knocked over…'

'A – er – former girlfriend's…'

'Bollocks!' Remus was gleeful. 'They're yours!'

Sirius covered his red face with his hands. 'Shut up.'

'Seriously?'

'Yes, okay, they're mine!' Sirius glared at an amused Remus through his fingers. 'They're not that bad, you know. And they're easy to carry and don't take a lot of thought and it gets _boring_waiting for the perfect photograph!' He reached under his head and pulled out a pillow. 'Stop laughing, you bastard!'

Remus deftly caught the pillow and tossed it back to Sirius. 'Okay, I'll stop,' he said, a wide grin stretched across his face. He watched the pink recede from Sirius' cheeks then said, 'So you do actually do relationships?'

Startled, Sirius gaped at him. 'What?'

'You said 'a former girlfriend',' he said, making quotation marks with his fingers. 'I assume you must have at least one.'

'Oh.' Sirius ran a hand through his dishevelled hair, catching a finger on a knot. 'Yeah, I suppose. Not for a while, though. Partners tend to want me at home a bit more than I can manage.'

'So you keep things casual generally?'

Sirius frowned, watching Remus fidget under the weight of his gaze. 'I try to. It gets too complicated otherwise.' He inhaled deeply then said, 'You must understand. You travel as well, don't you?'

Remus nodded. 'Yep,' he said, popping the 'p'. 'I get it.'

They were quiet, lost in their own tumultuous thoughts about the day's events, then Remus broke the silence.

'But what if it happens… by accident?' he asked haltingly. 'You meet someone and… click. What would you do then?'

'I… don't know,' Sirius said honestly. 'I'm not sure I'd ever meet anyone who would be willing to work around my job and, if I did, I… I don't know if I'm capable of that kind of commitment.'

'Long distance relationships,' Remus mused, shaking his head. 'They're such a bad idea.'

'Absolutely.'

They both nodded, reluctant to meet each other's eye. 'So when do you ship out for your next assignment?' Remus finally asked.

Sirius hesitated then said, 'Next week. Wednesday.' He saw Remus' eyes widen in surprise and gave him a closed mouth smile. 'I'm off to Australia for six weeks to check out the kangaroos. It'll be hot and dusty and I'll be longing to be back in rainy London town before nightfall on my first day, no doubt...'

Remus recovered quickly and smirked at Sirius. 'But think of all the tanned Aussies just waiting for the Sirius Black experience. It'll make all that dust and sun worthwhile.'

'Well, that is true,' Sirius boasted, grinning at Remus as he lay back on the pillows, arms crossed behind his head. 'It would be a crime to deprive the Southern Hemisphere of my charms for any longer.'

Remus admired the sight of Sirius' fit body spread out like a buffet on the sheets and was struck with a sudden desire to capture the moment. He hung over the edge of the bed, reaching for the camera bag he'd seen earlier.

'What are you…?'

'Don't move!' ordered Remus, holding up his hand. He snagged the handle of the bag and lifted it up onto the bed. 'Not an inch.'

He found the camera he'd been using earlier and aimed it at Sirius. 'What are you doing?' Sirius asked, smiling a fond smile that made warmth bloom in Remus' chest.

'Taking the perfect picture,' Remus murmured before clicking the shutter.

He got off two more shots before Sirius moved. He took the camera out of Remus' hands as he straddled his thighs. 'It's missing something,' he said softly, holding the camera up and pressing their cheeks together. 'Say 'sex'.'  
They both pulled a face for the first shot and, on the second try, Sirius captured them laughing. The last frame on the film was accidentally taken as Sirius kissed Remus, his hand falling back down to the bed where the impact with the mattress made him press down on the button. They ignored the whirring as the film rewound, giving themselves over completely to the kiss.

0o0

Remus snapped the latches on his instrument case shut then grasped the handle. 'That's it then,' he said, patting his trouser pocket to make sure he had his wallet and house keys.

'Taxi isn't here yet,' Sirius commented, holding the curtain aside as he peered out the front window. He let the drapes drop and turned back to Remus.

'It won't be long,' Remus said. 'I should wait outside.'

'No, it's… We'll see it from here,' Sirius insisted, leaning against the front door as if worried Remus would sneak out while his back was turned.

They lapsed into an awkward silence, neither sure of what to do. This was more than a one night stand, less than a break up. How were they supposed to act? Should they be happy they'd probably never see each other again, or miserable for the same reason?

'I've never done this before,' Sirius admitted. 'I… You aren't a one night stand and I don't know…'

'Neither do I,' Remus interrupted, appearing grateful for Sirius' admission. 'Maybe... we could pretend that we're friends?'

Sirius smiled. 'I'd hug a friend goodbye,' he told him, and one side of Remus' mouth quirked up into a half-smile.

'So would I,' he said.

Sirius moved away from the door, hooking a hand around the back of Remus' neck and hauling him in for a hug that was far more intimate than any he'd ever given a friend. Their bodies pressed close, they both drank in the feel and smell of each other one last time, each knowing the other was doing the same. Remus' lips brushed over Sirius' neck, and Sirius pulled back, cupping Remus' face before bringing their mouths together one last time.

The blast of a car horn tore them apart and Remus stepped out of Sirius' embrace. 'Better not keep him waiting.'

Sirius nodded and opened the front door. A black cab idled at the curb and Sirius couldn't help but give it a resentful glare for taking away someone that had made him happier in the last twenty-four hours than he had been for a very long time. Remus seemed just as reluctant to leave, lingering in the doorway.

Suddenly, he spun back around, a determined expression on his face. 'I'll be gone for eight weeks,' he said, putting his instrument case on the floor and fumbling in his jacket pocket. He pulled out a stub of a pencil and a scrap of paper. 'Turn around.'

Sirius automatically did as he was ordered, lending his back as a flat surface to Remus as he scribbled on the paper. 'This is my address and phone number,' he said, handing Sirius the paper when he turned back around.

He shoved the pencil back into his pocket and picked up his case. His blue eyes shone with vulnerability when he met Sirius' gaze. 'If you're interested in having a drink with a friend when you get back, give me a call. And if you're not…' He shrugged. 'I'd appreciate a copy of one of the photos I took. I'd like see how it turned out.' He pointed to the paper. 'You have my address.'

Taking a step back, Remus smiled and gave Sirius a nod. 'Maybe I'll see you around, Sirius Black.'

And then, he was gone.

Sirius stared down at the hastily written address, his stomach churning. What did he want? Could he and Remus just be friends? Would the chemistry between them become an issue? He stepped back inside his flat, shutting the door behind him. Of course it would get in the way. He could barely keep his hands off the other man and was pretty sure Remus was in the same boat. So, they couldn't hang out as friends, and they'd left casual sex by the side of the road sometime around ten o'clock this morning. That left either a more long term kind of relationship or… nothing. No further contact.

He rubbed at his tight chest, not sure if his sudden breathlessness was about starting a relationship or if it was because the thought of not seeing Remus again made something deep inside him _hurt_.

Frowning, he crushed the paper in his fist. He didn't do any kind of relationships. He didn't have the time or inclination. Mind made up, he strode into the kitchen and tossed Remus' address in the bin before heading for the shower.

0o0

Australia sucked.

Well, it didn't suck, but it was ridiculously hot during the day considering it was winter and, after his first few hours in the Northern Territory, Sirius had been willing to swear off sex for a year in return for a cold front. Then the sun went down and it was so bloody freezing, his teeth rattled with the force of his shivers. His guide, a leathery skinned local called Jack, chuckled and muttered something uncomplimentary about 'bloody poms' as he watched Sirius try and set up his swag with hands that were shaking violently.

Finally, he took pity on Sirius and within minutes, Sirius was crawling underneath scratchy blue blankets and hoping that the howling he could hear coming from further north was a figment of his imagination. As he curled up in a tight ball, his mind couldn't help but wander back a few days when he was lying in a comfortable bed with Remus warming his back.

Sirius smiled and pulled the blankets tighter around him, wishing Remus was there right now helping to keep him warm.

0o0

'I don't like it.'

Remus let the note he was holding end abruptly, frowning down at the suited man watching from the bar. 'I'm sorry?' he said, glancing at Fabian Prewett, his trumpeter, in confusion before turning his attention back to the American promoter.

'That song you were just playing,' Henry Cooper snapped, storming up the two steps to the stage. 'It's unsuitable. You'll have to use something else.'

Remus opened his mouth to argue when his manager, Kingsley Shacklebolt, stepped in. 'What exactly is your objection to the song?' he asked in his slow, deep drawl. 'UK audiences have responded very favourably…'

'That may be but this is the USA,' Cooper said, his tone patronising. 'Our audiences prefer to listen to songs they know and love rather than amateur compositions.'

Remus bristled. The song was one of his own, and he resented the condescension in the twangy Southern accent. Kingsley put a hand out, silently telling Remus to keep quiet, and took Cooper's arm with the other.

'Let's go and get a drink, Mr Cooper,' he said smoothly. 'And we can discuss the playlist in more depth.'

'For fuck's sake,' Fabian spat as the men walked out of hearing. 'We're never going to be ready at this rate.' He stowed his trumpet in its case and looked at Remus. 'I'm going for a drink in the back, mate. You coming?'

Remus glanced over his shoulder, still steaming. 'In a minute,' he said bluntly. 'I need to cool off a bit.'

Fabian nodded and left with their guitarist, leaving Remus alone on the stage. He sat on the edge of the raised platform, stretching his legs out in front of him. Watching Kingsley attempt to charm Cooper only raised Remus' ire so he stared down at his saxophone, fingers moving over the keys in a silent recital of the song he might not get to play. He smiled, remembering the last time he'd played this refrain, then looked around. The dingy little club on the other side of the world was a far cry from Sirius Black's bedroom, the two of them sitting on Sirius' bed and mucking around on the saxophone.

Remus sighed, resting his chin on the crook of the instrument as Kingsley's voice rose. He knew where he'd rather be right now.

0o0

'Bloody hell, mate!' James Potter cried, eyes wide as he stared, gobsmacked, at Sirius' face. 'I hardly recognised you! Did you spend the entire time lazing on a beach or did you actually work?'

Sirius grinned and waved him in. 'I worked my arse off,' he said, grimacing as he recalled the entire day spent hiding behind prickly bushes and jagged rocks for one measly photograph of a pack of dingoes. 'The tan is a just reward for my hard work.'

Sirius closed the door behind James and followed him through to the kitchen. He took the bottle of whiskey out of his hands and reached for the tumblers. 'Where's Pete tonight?'

James snorted as he sat down. 'I'd say he'd be right in the middle of a discussion about bow ties and cummerbunds right about now.'

'God, when is this wedding again? It feels like they've been talking about it forever.' Sirius handed James a glass of whiskey and put the bottle between them on the table.

'Weddings are a lot of work,' James said with a shrug. 'When you find the one, you'll find out.'

Sirius' brow furrowed. James' words had hit a little too close to the bone of his current problem. 'Do you really believe in 'the one'?' he asked tentatively, rubbing his thumb along the rim of his glass.

James paused in the middle of raising the tumbler to his mouth. 'Yes, I do,' he said, lowering the glass. 'I think that we aren't all lucky enough to find them, but I believe that they're out there.' He searched Sirius' face. 'Why are you so interested all of a sudden?'

Sirius shrugged, and James' face lit up with awareness. 'You met someone? In Australia?'

Sirius considered not answering but discarded the idea after half a second. James would just keep niggling at him until he forced him to reveal the truth. 'Before I left for Australia, actually.'

James' eyes narrowed as he thought back. 'You weren't home for long,' he murmured, almost to himself. 'We went to that jazz thing and you were complaining about a woman in a club but you never mentioned… Oh!' His eyes went round behind his glasses. 'The bloke? From the jazz club? The one you said let you play his horn…'

'Saxophone,' Sirius corrected.

James coughed out a laugh. 'I thought that was a euphemism!'

Sirius rolled his eyes. 'Prat,' he muttered before emptying his glass. He poured himself another drink, topping up James' glass as well. 'His name is Remus.'

'And you think…?'

'I don't know what to think,' Sirius grumbled. Agitated, he spun his glass, watching the whiskey slosh precariously close to the edge. 'I like him but…'

'… but the very word "relationship" gives you heartburn?' James finished, and Sirius huffed out a humourless breath.

'Yeah,' he agreed. He swallowed hard then looked up at James. 'I thought about him while I was away. A lot. But I still don't know what I should do.'

'I can't tell you what you should do, Sirius,' James said seriously. He leaned in, forearms resting on the tabletop. 'Marriage and commitment work for me and Lily, and it seems to be something Pete is pretty happy contemplating as well, despite all his moaning about the wedding.'

'You don't think I'm suited for it?' Sirius asked, not sure if he should be insulted or relieved that James might share his doubts.

'On the contrary,' James said. 'I think you'd make someone a great partner.'

Sirius' mouth fell open in surprise, and James chuckled. 'Didn't see that coming, did you?' He sipped at his drink then continued. 'You're loyal, you're passionate, you love with your whole heart. I reckon you'd make someone a fantastic husband.'

Sirius could hear the silent condition. 'But?'

'But…' James said, a small smile turning up the corners of his mouth. 'You have to want it. And you need the right person to want it with.'

'How do I know, though?' Sirius asked, exasperated. He stood up, his chair screeching as it dragged along the floor. He ran a hand through his hair. 'What if I try and fuck it up? Or what if I don't take the chance and he's – you know – the one?'

'Which would you regret more?'

Sirius' head snapped around. 'What?'

James smiled gently. 'Which would you regret more? Trying and it not working out, or never trying and always wondering what might have been.'

Sinking back into the chair, Sirius bowed his head. 'I don't know,' he whispered. He looked up. 'I don't know.'

James sat back in his seat and brought his drink to his lips. 'Well, you'd better figure it out soon,' he said, 'because I doubt Remus will wait forever.'

Several hours later, after James had passed out, Sirius sat on his bed, his gaze straying to the top drawer of his side table. He reached in and took out a photograph and a crumpled strip of paper with an address written on it in pencil. He stared at them for a long moment then, with a sigh, put them back and shut the drawer.

'I don't know what I want.'

0o0

Remus took one final drag from his cigarette then threw it to the ground, stamping it out with his foot. He was taking a break from rehearsals for tonight's gig, their first since their return to the UK ten days ago. His foot jiggled anxiously against the ground. They'd been back for ages now and there had been no word from Sirius. It was fine, he told himself. No promises had been made. But he'd begun to hope that Sirius had decided that Remus wasn't all that complicated after all.

Exhaling slowly, he let grey smoke dance around his head, jumping when a voice from behind him scolded, 'You shouldn't be smoking.'

He glanced over his shoulder, grimacing when he saw Fabian. 'It was just the one,' he defended himself. 'I haven't taken it up again.'

'Good,' Fabian said, swinging down to sit beside Remus on the step outside the club. 'It's no good for your lungs.'

'Yes, Mother,' he retorted.

Fabian bumped their shoulders together in admonishment then sighed as he looked around. 'It's good to be home.'

'It is,' Remus agreed. 'If I never hear the words "you're in the USA now, son" again, it'll be just fine with me.'

Fabian laughed at Remus' atrocious American accent. 'Me too.' He looked inquiringly at Remus. 'So, if you're happy to be back, why have you been walking around with a face like a slapped arse all day?'

Remus made a face which Fabian somehow interpreted correctly. 'A bloke?'

'Mm.'

'Let me guess,' Fabian said. 'From the aforementioned slapped arse face you're sporting, I'm going with you like him but he hasn't realised how brilliant you are yet.'

'Worse,' Remus said mournfully.

Fabian cocked his head. 'He's straight?'

'No,' sighed Remus. 'He knows how brilliant I am, both in and out of bed, but doesn't do relationships.'

'Ah.'

'Yeah.'

Fabian slid his arm around Remus' shoulders. 'Any possibility he'll come around? Realise he's a giant knob and beg you for a chance?' he asked.

'Doubt it,' Remus said, leaning into the friendly hug. 'It's alright. I knew things weren't likely to change. I just…'

'Hoped?'

Remus shrugged then they both turned as the door opened behind them. 'Whenever you two have finished bonding,' Kingsley said, his eyebrow arched, 'we'd appreciate your presence on stage.'

He disappeared again, leaving Remus and Fabian chortling quietly on the stoop. They hauled themselves to their feet, Fabian grabbing Remus' arm as they made their way back inside.

'Hey, I'm sorry about your bloke, Remus,' he said softly.

Remus smiled resignedly. 'Thanks, mate, but I knew what I was getting into.'

0o0

Sirius sat at the bar nursing a glass of lemonade, feeling detached from all the chatter and movement around him. He badly wanted something alcoholic to give him some dutch courage but he needed to be sober for this, needed to make sure Remus knew he was sober and for real.

He shifted on his stool and accidentally kicked the camera bag wedged between his feet. He hadn't been lying to Remus when he said he wanted to photograph him on stage. Looking at Remus, one would never guess how much passion and energy existed beneath that mild mannered exterior, and Sirius wanted to try and capture some of that vivacity on film.

The house lights dimmed and the audience settled into their seats. Sirius unpacked his camera, his hands trembling and stomach twisting into knots. He could still walk out. He could get the photograph he'd been obsessing over while treading through red dirt for six weeks and leave before Remus saw him.

He could do that. If he wanted to live his life always wondering 'what if?'

So when the music began and, Remus stepped out into the spotlight, Sirius took a deep breath and lifted his camera.

0o0

Remus packed his saxophone away then stood and wiped a sleeve across his sweaty brow. Performing was such a high – the music enveloping him, the burn of the spotlight, the appreciation of the audience. He didn't want to go home yet.

He sighed and reached for his overnight bag. If he had someone to go home to, the prospect might hold more attraction, but the thought of his lonely bed made him feel utterly miserable. Pulling a fresh shirt from the bag, he quickly changed out of his sweat-damp stage outfit into something more comfortable for the spontaneous night of drinking he'd just decided to partake in. If he was going home alone, he wasn't going to do it sober.

After locking up the tiny, closet-like dressing room, he headed through the rabbit warren of corridors towards the public area. Maybe there'd be some good-looking bloke at the bar tonight that could help him forget all about Sirius Black. Remus snorted to himself, reluctantly acknowledging that it would take more than a decent shag to get Sirius out from under his skin.

So lost in his own thoughts, he never heard footsteps approaching until he turned a corner and ran head on into another person. He staggered back, putting a hand against the wall to stop his backward momentum.

'I'm sorry,' he said once he'd regained his balance. 'I wasn't… Oh.'

'I was probably moving a bit fast,' Sirius said with a tentative smile. 'I didn't want to miss you.'

'What… What are you doing here?' Remus stuttered, his scarcely able to breathe at the sight of the man he'd resigned himself to never seeing again.

Sirius slid a hand into his jacket pocket and pulled out a photograph. 'I thought this needed a personal touch,' he said, handing over the picture he'd of the two of them kissing. 'It's not something I'd want the postman to leave at the wrong address.'

Remus looked at the photograph, his face softening as a smile crept across it, and Sirius shoved his hands into his pockets. Technically speaking, it wasn't a good picture. The subjects were off centre and it was slightly unfocused, but Sirius had loved it at first sight and hoped Remus would as well.

Remus looked up at him, a shy smile taking shape. 'I didn't take this one.'

'No,' Sirius admitted, 'but I thought you might like a copy of it.' He inhaled a confidence building breath then said, 'I thought you might like to come back to my place and look through the shots you took. You could choose the one you like the best.'

Remus worried the hem of his shirt between two fingers. 'I could do that.'

'And then, maybe, we could go out for breakfast tomorrow. And lunch. And dinner.'

Remus' jaw dropped. 'Um…'

'Or we could go out to a film or a show or something next weekend if you have plans for tomorrow,' Sirius said hastily.

'That sounds like a date.'

Sirius squared his shoulders. 'I told my editor I don't want any foreign assignments for six months. I'll be around and I thought we could… spend some time together.'

Remus smirked, the knot in his stomach beginning to unravel. 'Date?'

Sirius growled. 'Yes, okay, I want to date you,' he said in exasperation. 'Remus, put me out of my misery, will you? Do you want to go out with me or n… mmph!'

The back of his head hit the wall with a soft thud, but Sirius didn't feel it, overwhelmed by the ferocity of Remus' kiss. His lips parted on a moan and he responded with equal intensity, clutching at Remus' shoulders as his knees went weak.

Nerve-endings sparked as their bodies pressed together and Sirius' hands slid into Remus' hair as the kiss gentled, becoming sweet and tender before they finally parted, Remus resting his brow against Sirius'.

'That's a yes, by the way,' he said, voice ragged.

Sirius chuckled, his fingers tangling in the fine hair at Remus' nape. 'I figured,' he whispered before pulling Remus back in for another kiss.

Fin.


End file.
